Monday, January 7, 2013

Buns Buns Buns

I've got something to say. And it's about hair. 

Effing hair is so annoying. At least, mine is. If asked, I would describe the natural texture of my hair perhaps as "brittle", "damaged" or maybe just flat out "disgusting". It's certainly not silky and smooth, nor is it curly or even what could really be described as wavy. Instead, if left to it's own devices, it's frizzy, shapeless and dry, most resembling what I imagine a female scarecrow's hair would look like. This is probably because I have been dying the ever-living shit out of it since the age of about fourteen.

But alas, the desire to have luscious blonde locks is strong, and I have remained powerless to it for the past decade. Basically, all of that is to say that for my hair to actually look good down, it needs to be styled. With heat tools. That's just the end of the story. I've tried various techniques to have this not be the case, but it just is, okay? It just is. This was one thing in college when I had a seemingly endless amount of time to devote to such tasks, but in the working world? When I have to wake my ass up at 7:15 AM everyday? Hell no. Sure, there are some days where I'm inspired, but for the most part I've decided that it's all about buns buns buns. BUNS, people.

What kind of buns, you ask? WELL. Let me tell you! I first discovered the sock bun a few months ago, and I've really never looked back. Life before the sock bun was bleak and I'm honestly not sure how I survived on this earth for 23 years not knowing of its mysteries.

So the deal here is basically that you take an old sock, cut the toe off, roll it into a little donut-looking thing and install it into your hair (I'm not gonna pretend to be a good instructor of this sort of thing, if you wanna learn check out this video or this video, both are good, cut to the chase vids without a lot of extraneous talking, which is something I hate in beauty tutorials). Tricks of the trade: if you want a looser, messier look, forgo hairspray and just use a couple bobbypins to handle whispies. If you want a sleeker, more severe look, invest in some hairspray. But don't use TOO much, because ew.

Seriously girl, how many socks you got in there?

Since discovering the sock bun, I've been gingerly venturing into some other bun forays such as topknots. Topknots are a slippery slope, because done well they can be rather effortless looking. Done wrong, they basically shout "I'M REALLY FASHIONABLE!!!!!" in everyone's face, and let's be honest, how annoying is that? Kind of like the Lita boot of hairstyles, they've become a streetstyle favorite, so I think it's important to approach them in a way that isn't so obvious.




 Do you see? Pulled up high is good - it's sleek, attractive and accentuates facial features. A large ball of hair in the middle of your head? No, thanks. That just looks weird and alien-like. You can do smooth like Kate Bosworth or messy like that other chick but please, for the love of god, do not put it directly in the middle of your cranium. It's like the bun addition of those valley girl ponytails everyone was about in like 1998.

There are many other buns out there that I'm far too unskilled to learn how to do, so for now, I'm stickin' with these guys. Now, if anyone wants to come to my apartment and show me how to do a fishtail braid (I've watched sooooo many videos and still cannot figure it out), I will be eternally grateful.

No comments:

Post a Comment